I choose…

This life gives us such amazing choices, well when we seek options. The conflicts come when we don’t know what we want or which direction we want to choose. I love the idea that I have a choice to make and have the ability to make those choices. Are the decisions different or harder for others? I would think no, but I am sure that I am not completely attuned to how others are paralyzed by choices for fear of the wrong choice. How can a choice be wrong? It might not be the best choice but guess what? We can change our decision, go left instead of right, go back to where we started and make the ‘other’ choices we didn’t make to see what path it creates. I believe that we have spent so many years being critical of ourselves and each other that we lose confidence in our own way. We lose our ways because we take the way that causes the least amount of pain for us.

Interestingly enough, that has been a huge focus lately – pain. I have been listening to books, videos, and speeches about how we (as humans) go above and beyond to avoid pain, whatever pain means to us. Well crap, all this time I know we, humans, like to procrastinate and avoid the things we don’t want to do for whatever reason we deem necessary. What did not know is that we (humans) have (or society reflects) made ‘us’ into avoid’ers of things that are necessary for living life. Think about it, technology has created a world much more interesting and enjoyable than the reality we are faced with every day. Between Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Google, and the 12 million other internet based ‘things’ that keep us distracted from the reality of what we should be facing. I miss the days of having to find things that interested me, I am bored on a daily (almost hourly) basis. And YES, here I am writing my blog about the distractions of online activities. However, my direction is only to reflect how we are avoiding other important life activities. Yes, you know the ones that are not as exciting (as opposed to what other people are doing on Facebook) like picking weeds out of the yard, washing the car, cleaning out the garage, or (like me) not re-writing my dissertation. Right now, many are using COVID-19 as another excuse for not dealing with the reality of the world around us.


What are you going to do? I am going to delete all those stupid games I play to pass the time, you know – CandyCrush, Words with Friends, Fishdom, Blasting Balls, Wordscapes, and so on.  I am going to pay close attention to what I am trying to avoid so I don’t become a zombie in my own damn life. I am going to do things that I know I like and love to do, and ENJOY the moments I have doing exactly what I choose to do. I know you can argue that when you are playing a game you are CHOOSING to play, you are correct! But what are you choosing to avoid by choosing to play that game or search aimlessly or scroll endlessly? I am going to choose me. I choose to know my mind, better. I choose to find out what makes me WANT to avoid the pain of whatever it is I have been convinced is painful. I am going to choose to see where and why my mind takes trips that lead to nowhere. I choose to find myself in a world that many seem to want to lose themselves in anything but who they really are.